When my days are done…

I’ll start off by reminding everyone that in previous posts, I mention how death brings out a deep side of me.  Tonight is no exception.

I attended the funeral of the mother of said neighbor and friend I mentioned in my last post.  I have to say, seeing her get up and speak about her Mom brought me closer to the day I will have to get up and speak of my Dad.  I say my Dad because he’s older and also has Parkinson’s, just like her Mom.  Let me just state for the record, Parkinson’s sucks…

In her readings about her Mom, she mentions how Parkinson’s slowly took away things from her, and its so true.   And I’ll say it again, Parkinson’s sucks.

I am not a fan of funerals.  I said that at a funeral recently, and was quickly reminded by a good friend that ‘no one likes funerals’.  I felt stupid. But at the same time, I realized how funerals get my mind going.  Granted, if I never wrote another word after attending a funeral, I’d be fine.

As Casie and I drove home from the service, she mentioned that she really does need to sit down and talk with her Mom about plans.  Yes, I’m officially at the age where we have to start thinking about funerals for our own parents.  She mentioned how she wrote something for her Grandmother’s funeral, then three weeks later had to write something for her Dad’s.  I felt so horrible and helpless at that time.  To lose two loved ones had to be hell for her.  But as her husband, best I could do was to be there and support her in any way I could. She asked me if I had started writing anything for my Dad.  Truth be told, I have written probably forty ‘eulogies’ about my Dad.  I’ve started with him being born during the Depression, all the way to our Saturday walks.  That’s a lot of ground to cover, but so special to me.  But as I’m still lucky to have my Dad, I will not eulogize him quite yet.

However, it did make me think of what I want to make sure happens at his funeral.  Which is actually kind of funny, because in typical form, he has it already planned out and paid for, even down to what hymns he wants.  We’re Catholic, so you have to keep in mind that it’s all very ritualistic, and all songs are hymns.  I do hope, however, that they let me play one of two songs; “When my days are done” by Green River Ordinance, or “Men of Erin” by the Elders.

Music is something special to me.  I contribute that to my parents.  The drives across Kansas to Colorado were filled with such folk groups like the Christy Minstrels, sing along groups like Mitch Miller and Ray Conniff.  Of course, they did indulge that late ’70’s disco stuff like ‘Don’t Rock the Boat’.  But music to me is about the lyrics.  Granted, if I don’t feel the music right off the bat, there’s a good chance I won’t listen to the lyrics, but still…

Tonight I sent a text to my neighbor with the song ‘When My Days are Done’ by Green River Ordinance.  I found these guys on Spotify one day, and this song is just amazing.  I wish you’d give it a listen.

I hope she listened to the song, and I hope it brought her some relief.

I’m realizing more and more that I’m probably not far away from standing up on the altar speaking about one of my parents.  I don’t look forward to that day, but as my Dad deals with Parkinson’s and age, and my Mom is the primary caregiver, I’m realizing more often than not that before long, it will be me up there.  And I hate that idea.  But I also will treasure that time,  being able to get up in front of the world and tell everyone about the awesome parents I have.  Hell, I might even get up and speak at my mother in law’s funeral, not that God is ready for her yet 🙂

I’m sure I could go on and on, but for your sanity, I won’t.  Just know that my beliefs are pretty simple.  We don’t know why people go when they do.  Only God knows that, and I dare you to ask him when you get the chance.  Actually, I plan to ask him myself because I’m dying to know the answer.  Live life.  Don’t let stupid things like what ‘could’ happen keep you from experiencing this world God gave us.  Listen for your calling.  Do something positive.  Do something to help your fellow man.

“Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around, you might miss it”  – Ferris Bueller

“Friend don’t you cry for me.  Though my body might be broken in the ground, my soul it will be free…”  – Green River Ordinance

Hug someone.  Period.