My Two Words

I received something in the mail today that I have to admit I’ve been waiting on impatiently since the day I ordered it. For those that know me, and I’m realizing more and more that’s a select few, you’ll know patience is not one of my virtues.

What I was expecting was not anything major, just something that I put a lot of thought into, and almost feel like it’s something I’ve needed.  That small reminder that over the past few weeks, the world has sort of been turned upside down for my son and my family. Backstory – my oldest was in a freak accident that left him with three screws in his pelvis and hip.  In ten weeks, he’ll be able to walk again, and I have to admit, it’s something of a miracle.  Maybe that’s overdramatic, but it’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to.

While in the hospital, my wife apparently ordered a simple string with what looks like a washer that you wear as a bracelet.  On it, you can choose ‘your word’ to be inscribed on the washer.  She ordered it for our son with the word ‘persevere’, with the message to him essentially being that he’ll come out of this stronger than ever.  She also ordered one for herself with the words ‘be present’, meaning she felt she needed to not sweat the small stuff so much and be present in the moment. I decided I had to have one too, but for the life of me, I had no idea what my word might be.  There was a quiz on the website that was supposed to help spark some ideas.  Problem was, I was trying to find the perfect word, and wasn’t coming up with anything.  Then it hit me.  Two words.

I tend to hold on to things.  I take what people say and do personally.  I put trust in people and have a hard time letting things roll off my back if I feel they do me wrong.  I take reactions of people wrong, especially when I had my hopes up for a different reaction.  It’s something that has always been a part of me, and it’s a part of me I hate the most.  Sadly, it’s almost like a split personality.  I’m only this way with the people that tend to matter to me.  If you’re a co-worker or someone I barely know, I could care less what you say or do or how you react to anything I do or say.

So back to those two words.  I came up with something that I think not only serves as a reminder, but gives me direction in those times I hold on to things too much, or want to punch someone in the throat.  I’m not an aggressive angry person by nature, but like anyone, I have my moments where I get tense and only think of physical or angry ways to fix things. I was reminded tonight by one of my favorite artist, BJ Barnham, while listening to a podcast he was on.  Keep in mind, he’s an ‘Americana’ singer/songwriter, so songs can have a huge impact on me.  His do.  Anyway, in this podcast, he talked about how in this world, we forgot how to respect.  We’re all ‘F’ you if you don’t agree with me. He talked about how his grandpa and him could sit for hours discussing topics, mainly political (which is so not me), get heated, hug it out, say the love each other, and move on.  Not trying to get political, just agreeing with his statement.

So what were my two words?  Let Go.

At first, I was reminded of these from when I went on a retreat years ago.  ‘Let go.  Let God.’ was the common saying of the weekend.  In other words, let go of all the crap.  Let go of that paper you have to do or that report you’ve been struggling with at work.  Let go of the feelings of resentment and anger toward family and friends.  Let go of feeling like nothing will happen unless you do it.  And let go of the frustration when people don’t do things to your satisfaction or on your timeline. When people don’t want to do what you like or don’t show interest in being in the same time and space, let go.

I’ve had it on a couple of hours and have already found myself looking at it and trying to get myself back to center.  I now have my reminder and some direction.