When my days are done

Sadly enough, I realize that most of my writings happen after something emotional, spiritual, or (I’m catholic so I guess I can use this word in everyday conversation) sorrowful. Today I’m feeling a little bit of everything, so why now jot it down?

Last night, actually early this morning, a friend’s father passed away. Seeing pics posted, my heart broke because the pics, although awesome as he was surrounded by loved ones, were awful because he just looked to be ‘done’. My own father is pushing 89 this year, and I dread the day I’m the one holding his face and saying goodbye. I also realize that for the most part, my friend’s Dad as well as mine when the time comes, will be ready to move on to a new life with no pain or difficulties.

As part of my normal wake up routine, I check Facebook each morning. Today was the obituary of the mother of someone who has become a friend. His mother passed on Easter. He was at our game Monday and helped run practice yesterday, and no one knew. I noticed in the post that she had dementia and it ‘took her mind’ long ago.

Cancer. Parkinson’s. Dementia. Throw in ALS and you have the four horsemen of horrible diseases.

As I mentioned, my friend who lost his mother never let on that anything was wrong. Not all need to show emotion and can easily separate themselves as needed. I wish I was more like that. My other friend who lost her father essentially wrote about it daily and spent every day with him. I wish I was more like that too.

Death sucks. But with death, we open another chapter in our legacy. Some will live on in the hearts of their spouse, children, and grandchildren. Some will be constantly remembered in stories and moments of “remember when…?”

For me, I believe in heaven. I don’t believe in clouds and rainbows, but I believe it’s where you were your happiest. I remember when my wife’s godfather passed. My belief was that he was back at his sanctuary, his lake house. I believe his days are spent catching fish for the local cat to eat, his morning jet ski rides, and creating interesting dishes in the kitchen. I can only hope others have a similar view.

When it’s my Dad’s time, I see him back with his buddies or at his Uncles farm. I hope my friends who just lost their parents can see their parents in their happy place and know that someday, they’ll be able to share all of that with them.

“I ain’t afraid to die for I have truly lived. Held the hand of a blushing bride. Grown old with my best friend. I ain’t afraid to die for what these eyes have seen. The beauty of my son’s first steps. My little girl smiling back at me. When my time comes, when all my days are done, friend don’t you cry for me. Though my body might be broken in the ground, my soul it will be free. “

– “When my days are done”

– Green River Ordinance

Peace.