The End as a New Beginning

Going back to December through today, I have known three people who have passed away. I don’t know why death always brings out the inspiration in me, But for some reason it’s when I go into my deepest part of my creative brain and find inspirational thoughts that are likely useless to anyone but me.  Back when we lost my dad in early 2020, it was almost a relief because I knew he hated the life of sleeping on the couch all day and walking the house all night  because of his Parkinson’s. A month later, when we lost my brother-in-law to a very aggressive and rare form of cancer, it was also sort of a relief because it took so much away from him in a very short time, but also a shock because of how fast it took him.  The last two funerals I have attended were a little bit emotional, but also an opportunity to reflect on the kind of life each of these people of had.  Then yesterday, the brother of a girl I went to grade school with many moons ago passed away. I knew him by name only, but I have been reading about him, and I’ve been really amazed at the life he had.  The guy I remember was kind of a troublemaker back in the day, and was now a very successful art dealer who apparently did amazing things to help artist become relevant in their field. I never would’ve guessed. The funeral I attended at the end of last year was for one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. He was a second father of sorts to me. A tough marine, who was always there taking your drink order and offering unsolicited advice that often was some of the most profound advice I’d ever been given.  And he was that for anyone who knew him. He gave me a job when I needed one back in high school, and I can’t tell you all of the great memories I made while making carpet stain remover, setting up for trade shows, or landscaping his house. Some of those memories I will take to my grave with me and will never admit they were true. But hearing his son, someone I can say I feel is one of my best friends if not, my best friend, shared some stories that really painted the picture of the life he had. It was beautiful and absolutely hilarious. This last week, I attended the funeral mass for the mother of an old friend. I remember her as being a feisty redheaded Irish woman, who made you feel welcomed from the moment you met her. Hearing some of the stories from her kids as they were growing up, just reinforced the fact of what an amazing woman she was.

I guess my point for this whole thing is that death sucks, but I think it has to serve to us as a reminder that we can pack an off a lot of life into a very short time. It doesn’t mean we have to be a world traveler, solve hunger for the poor, pass mind blowing legislation, or winning the Nobel peace prize, it’s more about living in the moment, making the most of every moment or at least, recognizing those moments, and taking the time to take it all in.  And as long as we all hold the memories of those people with us, even though we can’t pick up the phone to ask them a question or stop by to say hello, they will always somehow be with us. It may be running into one of their family members, it may be going to a football game, it may be hearing a song on the radio, or maybe just in a quiet moment when a memory comes back to you and you can’t help but laugh or feel some kind of warmth. It also made me realize how important it is to not hold on to unnecessary things. How important it is not to get so stressed about life that you lose your sense of being able to handle anything thrown at you. Or being able to comfort someone who really needs you.

I would suggest we all need to take a minute to sit back and just take it all in. For example, yesterday we had a bunch of youth group, kids, and some of their parents for an event. I was a little nervous and wasn’t sure I wanted all these people at my home, but by the end of the night, I was smiling from ear to ear, and feeling a real sense of peace as the kids enjoyed the nature that surrounds where I live, and the time they got to spend together just being kids. 

So where do I take it from here? I honestly don’t know. That may be the question that never gets answered. I don’t think the answers are always real clear. I think sometimes you just have to shut up and let the universe tell you your next steps. 

I truly hope any of you who took the time to read this are able to find peace in your own life through the passing of loved ones, and everything else that happens to us in our relatively short lifespans. I hope you can step away from the stress, and find a time to be one with the world. Unfortunately, there are a lot of factors working against us, but if we just took that time to breathe, once a day, collectively, I think we can make a big difference. Again, not saying, we are setting out to change the world, but maybe by slowing down and taking that breath, we will encourage others to do the same, and hope that they can see the beauty, the memory, and determine what is truly important to each of us. And don’t forget to shut up and listen. There’s a lot of good stuff out there in the silence.