My Mom was born to be just that, a Mom. She’s a ‘doer’ as my wife put it. Someone who does for others because that’s how she feels she’s fulfilling her purpose in life.

As a kid, I remember being home sick and just wanting to sleep. Mom has other ideas. She’d wake me every hour just to see if I needed anything. I’d say ‘sleep’, and she’d apologize and leave the room….until the next hour rolled around. When friends were over, she’d constantly be downstairs asking if we wanted anything. Sadly, as I got older I didn’t want to bring people by because we couldn’t just hang out. Mom would want to offer drinks or food and then would want to ‘visit’. Not many teens like the idea of hanging out with someone’s mom.

With Dad and all he’s dealing with, it’s frustrating so often because she’s always wanting to change his clothes, make him more presentable, wake him up for lunch and meds, etc. I say just leave the man be, but that’s not in her nature. I get frustrated because I’m trying to help her with Dad, and our views differ greatly on what that means.

Thing is, she’s doing what she promised to do 50+ years again when she said ‘ I do ‘. She’s taking care of Dad as she only knows how. I say she smothers, she calls it love. Somehow, I think we’re both right to a point.

But regardless, she is living up to her end of the bargain, often times even after Dad has a fall which triggers a PTSD type response where he accuses her of running around on him and not icing him. That has to hurt especially for someone who really only know how to love. And that’s what Mom does. She loves.

I may not agree with her methods, but that’s not my spouse withering away physically and mentally. That’s not my spouse who needs help with the littlest thing. That’s not my spouse who could choke and die at any moment. That not me waiting for my spouse to pass on because there’s no other option. No, it’s not. So maybe I need to let her do her thing instead of tying to fix everything like I do?

Bottom line, I can’t imagine what Mom is dealing with. It’s easier for me because I can come and go as I please. She can’t. She sees the glimmer in his eye when he’s ‘Jack’, and she sees the blank stare when the Parkinson’s takes over. She hears the accusations that Parkinson’s causes and although it hurts like hell, she powers through with a hug and a kiss and an I love YOU.

My Mom is a wonderful woman. Much stronger than she believes. And no one rivals her in the size of her heart and the love she has for Dad and pretty much anyone she comes across. I don’t give her enough credit. And I don’t appreciate her enough for taking care of my Dad. That will and has changed.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for being you. Thank you for loving as only you know how. And know you will always be taken care of.