For the past couple of weeks, I’ve struggled with technology to create a video to be played at my son’s wedding in just a few weeks. My wife volunteered me simply because I did a few videos for the lacrosse team we used to coach, but man nothing is the same. Powerpoint costs way to much for me considering this is about all I’d use it for, and everything else seems to require a subscription. I know, settle down old man, but I need something easy. Luckily, I think I found something equivalent to my Atari mind compared to the X Box whatever the ‘kids’ are on now.

I’ve received pictures from the future in laws covering everything from when my future daughter in law, from now on referenced as my future DIL – thank you Urban Dictionary, was a gorgeous little baby to engagement pictures just taken recently. I’m an old softy who wears his emotions on my sleeve, and one thing I kept noticing in these pictures of my son and my future DIL is simple…they’re happy. The smiles. The looks in their eyes as they look at each other. The affection. It’s all the things that you need to start a marriage, and they’ve got it in spades!

About the time my son called my wife and said ‘Mom, I’m ready to go look for rings’, I’ve started researching my role as father of the groom. Part of the responsibilities is giving a toast at the rehearsal. I’m probably taking this way too seriously, but I want to make sure I’m saying something both entertaining as well as something meaningful and dare I say, memorable. I’m big on motivational pieces – and for the record, not the posters of the cat hanging from the tree with the text ‘Hang in there’ – and song lyrics. About the time why my wife got that call from my son, I was watching a 30 for 30 on the North Carolina State men’s basketball team that went to the 1983 national championship and won under the coaching of coach Jim Valvano. Coach ended up picking up all sorts of uncurable cancers, but instead of feeling down, he chose to take a more positive route and started public speaking, sharing his speech ‘Don’t ever give up’. As I was watching, he said there were three things we need to do every day, and if we do so, we’ll have what he called ‘one helluva day’. I started to think about how these three things fit with the upcoming rehearsal dinner and wedding, and here’s what I came up with. If you’re going to the wedding, you may hear a version of this during my toast, so please act surprised.

1. Laugh. I think we can check the box on this one. I think laughing will be in excess over these few days.
2. Think. Spend some time in thought. For me, this one is easy. I’ve spent more time thinking about the day of the rehearsal, the dinner, and especially the wedding day. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the future, covering everything from my go getter son’s drive to make things happen, to potential grand kids. I can’t wait for that! But all in good time.
3. Let your emotions be moved to tears. It’s a wedding. I’m sure plenty of happy tears will be shed. I know my wife will certainly shed her share. She’s already warned our son she’ll be crying during their dance, which he has gone on record of wanting to cut to no more than one minute. Silly boy, doesn’t he know who he’s dealing with? This is essentially her final moment with her baby. She needs this and will remember those three minutes the rest of her life.

I’m also big on song lyrics, and again, about the time my son made that call to his mom, I found a band and a song that I think serves a incredible marriage advice. After thirty years of marriage, I can’t think of a better song chorus that I think any married couple could learn from. Consider yourself lucky that I’m not singing this in person. Although I was considering asking a musician friend to work up an arrangement to share at the wedding, but I’ve given up on that dream.

“Give me you on your worst day and I’ll give you my best. When you’ve only got ten, I’ll be that ninety that’s left. So go on and run me ragged as long as your love don’t stray. Don’t worry about meeting me in the middle when I’m already running your way.”

So to wrap up, the video is almost done and I hope to God that come the rehearsal and the reception, it will actually play and play correctly. You essentially just read my father of the groom toast, and I think I just gave about the best marital advice I can think of.

To Riley and Connor. May you always work together to find your 100%